My father always told me to not be a quitter. He encouraged me to keep playing softball, keep practicing, keep going... even though I found myself terrified of going up to bat, terrified of the pressure and everyone watching, and hated wearing that ugly baseball cap. Even though I happened to be good at softball, it wasn't really making me happy anymore. I later quit softball and focused on dancing, which I not only was good at, but loved as well and continued for many years.
This is similar to me recently quitting my job. I was really, really good at what I did but I found the harder I worked, the more stressful everything seemed, and the less happy I became. I would try to pick out reasons why I should stay, convincing myself that I really was in fact, "happy".
I got to thinking about how my choices, both good and bad, have brought me to this exact moment in my life. It fascinates me when I sit down and wonder at the fact that we all are creating our own destinies... one decision at a time.
If you know me, you know I'm extremely indecisive. From deciding on what cereal to buy to deciding which career path to take, my Gemini twins always seem to be talking to one another, constantly fighting back and forth between what I should do.
But once my gut tells me what to do, I usually do it.
I also was thinking how fast time has gone by. How so many things are changing from day to day. And sometimes people like myself get stuck in a momentum... like getting caught in the tide and not being able to push through the waves, swimming as hard as you can, but only staying in one place, not paying attention to other directions you could go.
This is how I found myself one October evening... wondering why I was so exhausted, so stressed, so lost. Who had I become and more importantly, why was I doing it? I had been caught up in a career path that was leading me in the opposite direction of where I wanted to go. Being a graphic designer has been in my head for years now, but I have been settling and avoiding the hard work of school. I was also a bit afraid of really trying because, well, I might fail at reaching that dream...
And sometimes I start regretting some decisions I've made. For one, quitting school when I did. I think back now and wonder where I would be if I continued school. I would be graduated. Maybe would have had a killer job and loving life. Maybe...
But I'm not sure if I would have my husband in my life. I wouldn't have met the friends that led me to my previous employment..... which led to experience with designing..... which led to my interest in graphic design... which led to my last job..... which gave me the fire to start school again.
Furthermore if I didn't quit at that precise moment, I wouldn't have applied for jobs that week and wouldn't have found the job I have now which is nothing short of absolutely perfect for me.
The point I'm trying to make is that we should all be living without regrets. Our decisions have led us to exactly what we need in life from moment to moment. For me, it took one meeting, two hours, several accusations, and plenty of harsh and unnecessary criticism to realize that my last job was not where I needed to be. I would much rather be working that hard towards a goal that I actually want, and be satisfied knowing that I'm doing something I love. To me, that is happiness.
So I ask you, what are your thoughts on happiness? What big decisions have you made that have led you to where you are today? Please leave a comment with your stories!