April 13, 2011

Secret Heart


So, I thought as a follow up from Monday's rant I would let you all know how very much I was touched by all of your comments, your thoughts, and your compliments. I was not expecting that large of a response, and although I was nervous about offending people, I'm glad I brought up the subject. It helped me get to know all of you a little bit better and realize that I'm not alone with my petty insecurities.

It's kind of funny... I wrote it as a way to weed out the followers that couldn't care less, but instead it brought me even more followers than I was expecting! This just reassures me that you all appreciate my honesty, as I appreciate yours, and I want you all to know this is a place where openness and honesty is embraced. That's why it's called "Confessions" of a Graphic Design Student. Let's face it. I'm an open book!

All my life I have worn my heart on my sleeve and I have found that it's sometimes really hard for me to hold back or put a wall up. I just let it out I guess... and there are goods and bads attached to that. Good because people know who I am right away and I have developed very deep and meaningful relationships, but also bad because sometimes I have a hard time censoring myself or maybe will let my guard down around people I don't necessarily trust, and in return I get hurt or it backfires on me. But, would I change myself if I could? I don't think I would...

I have seen people that keep their walls up air tight and go about life like that, never letting anyone in, and I pity them. They use this as protection and think they have everything figured out because they don't ever get hurt, but what's truly tragic is the possibility that they won't ever experience the benefits of having someone see their souls, the good and bad, and still love them for all they are. They are missing out on one of the best feelings in the world!

In this blogging world we really don't know each other so it ends up being a place where you can either expose yourself for all you really and truly are or you can hide behind a wall of perfected words and edited photos giving the illusion of a happy/successful/magical/fairytale life.

If that's how I did things around here I would feel really empty inside. Keeping a blog would seem meaningless. Why put so much effort into trying to convince other people that my life is perfect? People can see right through that- and it doesn't inspire people- it makes them envy you and hate you as well. I believe envy is a wasted emotion and it's something we should not be encouraging from our readers. I feel the more we expose ourselves, the more we let others know the reality, the more we spread the fact that we are all human and we are all more alike than we ever thought we would be.

Of course there will be the occasional troll that comes along that has their own set of issues, but they will surely be outnumbered by people who accept you and love the insides of you, not just the outward appearance... and isn't that all that we really want anyway?

This is the perfect place to get unbiased thoughts- because I don't think anyone is here to judge- they are here to be inspired, to peek into the lives of others and find out how they are handling this roller coaster we call life. We can't possibly be laughing the whole ride having a good time. Sometimes we are scared and we want to scream- sometimes it's bumpy and the twists and turns make you feel like your veering off track- sometimes we feel sick to our stomach- sometimes it's terrifying as hell... but sometimes it's pure elation, and if we omit the scary parts, well... that's just no fun! It would be like riding a kid coaster that slowly goes around in a circle. Boooo!

So I challenge you... open up in one of your posts this week and just let it out. I predict you will not only feel better about yourself, but you will connect with others on a deeper level.

Besides, what are you so afraid of? :)

And to all of the lovely followers of mine that left those amazing, long, heartfelt comments:

Thank you.


From the bottom of my heart <3


  1. Every time I read one of your posts I think "She just seems so cool." Same thought this time. You just strike me as the type of friend I could go out with for a cup of coffee (or chai tea in my case, lol) and a chat about life and serious things, and then after that hit the mall or something fun. Too bad you're in Utah and I'm in Michigan. I need a day like that! Haha. Really though, just keep being you! You've got the right balance of sweet, serious, and sassy, and it works well. I mean you've got over 100 followers! You're doing something right! :)

  2. Hey girl, just catching up on some blog reading today. Don't worry about the following/unfollowing thing too much. I feel like that's just the way it is out there in bloggy world. I am currently stuck just under 150 followers and I guess I'll be stuck there until some new peeps find and like my blog. I try not to worry about it too much. I follow so many blogs myself in order to be nice and because they follow me but the truth is, the one's I really want to read I bookmark in a separate folder ;) I have met a handful of great blogger friends so far that I try to stay in contact with and really appreciate. Just think about it, there is no way you could talk to hundreds of real life friends everyday and I guess that's how you have to look at it with bloggy world too. I love blogging but I also have a life outside of this and real friends and especially family should always come first in my book.
    Your blog is great and your posts are thoughtful and honest. That's what I like and I'll keep reading :)
    Sending lots of love your way.

  3. i really respect your honesty. its hard to find genuine people in the blogging world and its nice to know you practice what you preach - the comment you left on my blog is one of my favorite in a while. it was heartfelt and actually had something to say. i'm glad you liked the post, but i love the thoughtfulness!! thanks, and hope to see you around the blogosphere again soon :) stick to your instinct, i think it will serve you well.

    Copper + Lace

  4. I'm so glad I finally started following you on bloglovin. I follow tons of blogs with the google friend connect, but hardly ever get through those posts. I love your honesty and how you're just being you. It's seriously a breath of fresh air getting to a blog like yours and reading through a post with so much personality. I mentioned a lot of blogs are full of images (including mine) and I feel like that personal touch...the words that form a story that we can all connect with are sparse around the blogosphere. Just keep being yourself and the followers will keep coming :)

  5. You're damn right girl! Spot on. Now let's have some coffee and chat and giggle and laugh endlessly ... :)

  6. I'm glad I followed you, for one. Been on this blog twice now and each time the new posts are fantastic, interesting, and well thought out.

  7. i'm also an open book hehe.. exceeeeeeept if i'm angry with someone.. then i'm more passive aggressive and that just isn't a good thing.. better to be open then blow up after time!

    thank you for thinking of Boo.. i know, it makes me so nervous when he jumps onto or off of things. they have to be careful, but they're dogs, so they don't know! i have little doggie stairs in some places (like my bed) but if he get's excited he'll just jump without using the stairs. i can't wait to get him to the Dr. so she can tell me he's fine! (i'm hoping.)

  8. I love this post. And the last one. It's so honest and I'm glad you had the courage to say it, and make me feel like I'm not the only one who feels that way sometimes!!

  9. Haha now you're on fire. Love it!

  10. I love your blog Lady! I always look forward to your posts. Sorry I don't comment more often. I think you're inspiring and I appreciate your consistent honesty about life in general. Keep up the good work Lovely!

  11. @Joanna: Seriously... cutest comment ever. I think the same thing every time I read your blog! Tell you what next time I'm in Michigan or you are in Utah we should meet up for some chai tea :)

    @Soph: You are so right! I think I learned a lot from everyone's comments. At the end of the day it's just a stupid number!

    @Jazibelle: Well, that made me feel wonderful! Thank you for that. I like leaving thoughtful comments- but I also type exactly what I'm thinking, and sometimes ramble on... lol. Glad to know it's appreciated :)

    @Artichoke: Same here girl, and your blog is quickly becoming one of my favorites! I'm so glad you decided to follow and I'm so glad I found you!! And there's nothing wrong with lots of images, as long as there is that personal touch like you mentioned :)

    @Psycho: Hehehe you are too cute. I absolutely love your blog by the way- makes me think hard and laugh out loud at the same time- that's magic stuff right there :)

    @Erika: That literally made my day- thank you!!!

    @Sarah: Yeeeeah... I tried the passive aggressive route one time and it didn't end very well... :/ I've noticed it's hard to be honest with the ones you are the closest to, but sometimes you have to be. You may fight at first, but in the end they will appreciate you loving them enough to be open and honest and you will both feel better from the experience and the relationship will grow from it. Either that or they will call you a bitch and never talk to you again... but that's a slim chance... lol

    @Laura: Thank you! That is what I hope to do- connect with other people's natural emotions. I hope you keep reading! :)

    @Adrienne: Oh yeah girl... no holding back now! hahah

    @Nicole: GIRL! Thanks for the comment! I'm glad you look forward to my posts. Thank you for your ongoing support and love :)

  12. I just caught up on my blog reading and just read your 'Unfollow' post. I love reading honest, venting posts. Someone unfollowing you can be a bummer, but I try not to let it bug me. I figure if they unfollow me it's because we just have different interests or they're trying to slim down the list of blogs they read.
    But hey..100 followers is pretty darn great! Keep doing what you're doing and being you because obviously a bunch of people dig that! Focus on the good :]

  13. It's so true - often the posts that I worry about offending people with are the ones that most people resonate with! Just goes to show it pays to be open and honest with people, even when we're struggling with something.


Hey friends! Thank you for taking time out of your day to keep up with my ramblings :) Although I read every single comment I'm not always able to reply, so if you have any specific questions please feel free to send me an email. Thanks and have a lovely day! xo