CAUTION:
This post is completely honest and real and might offend some people. Read at your own risk!
So, just yesterday I was SO ecstatic that I finally reached 100 followers and even mentioned it in my last post.
But... I log on today and notice that I only have 99. Sad. :(
I'm not sure if I'm doing something wrong but I've had quite a few people unfollow me lately. I'd guess around 10 people total. It kinda hurts :(
Ever since I started making serious efforts with my blog in November I've learned a few etiquette lessons that exist in the blog world, and have realized that not everyone understands. To me, this is networking with real people doing really amazing things. I love being a part of it and love getting to know the individuals behind the words.
I admit in the beginning I was a little naive with this blogger world. I didn't know how to gain followers. So I went to Blogger's Coffee Shop and tried advertising myself there. Nada. Then I realized there were several blog networks that I could join to expose my blog. That didn't really help either.
I noticed when I peeked around, visited other blog's followers and commenters, I found some truly remarkable people. I started reading, commenting, and following to let them know I existed. Who would have thought genuinely reading blogs and leaving sincere comments would help me gain followers? :)
I know everyone is trying to gain more followers, but there is a polite way to do it and an impolite way to do it. I think a lot of people try to find the easy way out with these copy & paste comments. It's so rude! Really... I'd rather you not even say anything. I get excited when people comment, and if it's just some thoughtless remark, it's disappointing and disrespectful.
There's also that uncomfortable obligation to follow someone when they follow you. And it's even more uncomfortable when they blatantly ask you to follow them back.
Let me tell you a story that truly shocked me. I recently had someone leave those rude kind of comments and a link to their blog asking me to follow them. She had a nice blog and I liked it, but I was turned off by the way she went about it. I gave it some time, and after she repeatedly left me comments I decided to be nice, follow, and leave a sincere comment thanking her. Guess what happened? She UNFOLLOWED me two days later. WTF? That's sooo snaky!
Now, I only follow people if I'm truly intrigued with their blog's content and if it has something to do with my industry and interests. I would hope they follow back, but if not, no big deal. I don't need follows out of pity.
To be completely honest, there are times when I visit a follower's blog and I'm just not interested. Like for example, Christian blogs. I completely respect your love for God, really, but I'm agnostic and I don't have an interest reading about your religious views. Are you going to hold that against me? Does this make you not want to read my blog anymore because I don't read yours? Don't you want followers that share the same interest and will leave you insightful comments?
This leaves me to conclude that some people only follow me because they want a follow back. And maybe when they found out I didn't follow them back they got pissed and unfollowed me. Or maybe I just suck... I dunno. I feel kind of high school bringing this up. I mean, the first few unfollows didn't bother me, but now it's becoming a pattern and I want to know... has this ever happened to anyone before? How do you handle it?
I just want to say to all of my followers that are reading this right now: I am SO happy that you decided to follow me, and I hope you did because you want to hear more of what I have to say, and not out of pity. I follow about 100 blogs and there are new posts filling up my reader every day. If I don't get to read your post right away... don't worry. I'm always viewing when I have time (during work, after work, during school, after school, and on weekends) and I will read your posts eventually. I try to comment on the posts that touch me with sincere heartfelt thoughts and I hope you do the same. But, I don't expect you to read and comment on every one of my posts. I understand we all have our own busy lives and just maintaining a blog can be really time consuming.
On the other hand, if that's all I am is a number to you then I would prefer you not follow me in the first place. If you don't care or haven't read my blog in ages, then please.. go ahead and unfollow me. This is a place where I need motivational support, not snaky people looking for follows.
Sorry... had to vent :/
It's a slippery thing, this blog following issue! I know what you mean. But don't let it get you down -- you have a wonderful blog, you have mad design skillz, and you always post interesting and thoughtful things that a ton of us enjoy reading! Keep your chin up, lady, and keep doing your thing :)
ReplyDeleteThat happens a lot on Twitter too. People will follow you just so that you follow them back.. then dump you. So far here - I know that I have a lot of followers just so they have followers. I guess that is fine. Less blogs I have to keep up with. Thats the way I see it. Because to be honest... There are a few that I follow that I felt obligated to and really do not have that big of a desire to read.
ReplyDeleteI have unfollowed a couple blogs lately. They were not following me back.. but that is not the reason I left. Its because they would NEVER interact with anyone on the blog. Its like they left their stuff and never came back! I felt like it was "worthless" to even be a part of it. So I left. I "LOVE" the interaction part of the blogging too. uhh.. obviously.. here I am chatting it up.. This is my second time here today! haha. Wait.. gotta check my spaggetti.. Okay.. Back.. Where was I? Oh yes... I would rather have ten unfollowers and 80 listeners any day though :) Its all in the way you view it.. Have a good night.. and you should still have your giveaway.. I am thinking of having one too.. Maybe give away a little mini painting or something. I need to paint one first though.. Maybe a print of one of my paintings? Not sure.. we will see. :)
I;m sorry friend!! Your not alone though I loose followers all the time too. I always like to think they deleted their account or something haha Don't worry too much about it though. :)
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHey, don't worry about venting at all! This is your blog, and your place! You're one of the people I would consider a blog friend, and I am glad to follow you! I actually have very little skill for graphic design, but I've always found it interesting, so I love reading about it. I sort of live vicariously through your posts. Haha. Even though I may not always comment, I'm always reading, and I love your approach to things. You're fun and entertaining, and I like your honesty. Having someone unfollow can sting a little. I've had it happen too. But so far it hasn't bothered me too much. I figure if I'm still getting more followers, it's probably not anything I did. So you should feel the same! You'll get back to your 100 very soon I'm sure. And only go forward from there! Keep doing your thing, girl! :)
ReplyDeleteThat up there was me logged in my other blog just so you knew who it was lol!!
ReplyDelete@Jackie- thanks love! seriously... i really appreciate that!
ReplyDelete@Frankie- I always enjoy your blog and your comments... you're hilarious! I'll still do a giveaway... and I know what I'm going to do... but I'm going to leave it as a surprise! (hint it's a DIY project I'm doing in my office that I think a lot of people would like!) :)
@Ana- YAY! lol You just brought me back to 100. You didn't have to do that... but you are totally sweet for doing it anyway. Thank you darlin.
@Joanna- Thank you, girl! I also consider you one of my blog friends... you were with me from the beginning! hahaha and you are totally right... thanks for the kind words :)
SIDE NOTE: I really wasn't fishing for compliments or anything... HONEST! LOL
Good to hear! :) Oh and your Patrick picture.. did you do that? That made me laugh.
ReplyDeleteI'm only interested in "followers" who like what I've got to say. It's an ego boost, sure, but only if you know they're sticking around because they enjoy your writing. I've not experienced a lot of the "follow back" comments, but I think that's honestly because most of the traffic coming to my blog has been via FTLOB, and they're all "You're an asshole if you do this" and they're not apologetic about it and I love that about them. It's quality, yo!
ReplyDeleteI follow like 300 blogs. It's ridiculous. I went through last night and culled the herd, so to speak - there were maybe a dozen that I find myself scrolling past in my google reader every time. If I've not actually READ the posts for the last 3 months, it's probably a waste of space for me. The numbers on that reader creep up so fast!
Obviously, I didn't cut your blog. That's because you're interesting. You write with your real voice - I can see a person, good/bad/happy/sad/uncertain/sure, behind the words on the screen. I want to be your friend and celebrate your happy times and cry for your sads and get mad when bitches unfollow you after begging you to follow them for weeks.
In other words, you're a prime example of why blogging is awesome, and if others can't see that, well, they're probably dumb and you didn't want to be friends with them anyhow.
I have to be honest, I have "unfollowed" some blogs but not to be hurtful, with time I realized that they are not something that interests me. I agree with the comments about the reader filling up pretty quickly. I want mine to be filled with things I enjoy reading whenever I find the time, but I'm always willing to give a blog a chance, sometimes it just doesn't work out.
ReplyDeleteI'm still pretty new to this whole blogging thing, and I'm starting to realize that just like everything else there is politics to it lol.
What I try to keep in mind is that I started writing my blog for myself, and if others like it that's great but if they don't that's ok too.
Having said all that, I enjoy your blog, you're doing a great job and your comments are always thoughtful! Keep up the good work :)
I totally know where you're coming from. It's taken me a while to get to where I am now and I still lose followers here and there. I've had a few giveaways and required the participants to be followers because I want someone who reads my blog to win what I'm giving away...but I think people unfollow me after they've realized they haven't won. I'm not really offended when that happens because if they're only following me for free stuff, then I'm better off without them. I also find that certain posts get comments. I know what my readers will react to and I can usually predict which posts won't get much attention. Like today... I posted what actually went on in my life..but there's only one comment. Sometimes I feel like people don't care what I'm up to...and just want to see regurgitated images from the internet and cool fashion finds. I don't know, I'm still somewhat new to all this and am continuously learning. Whew! Long comment, haha
ReplyDelete@Frankie- No I didn't make it, I stole it off Google images.
ReplyDelete@Natalie- Thank you for that heart felt comment. You are one of my favs :)
@Outspoken- I have too.. probably should have admitted that in the post. I think that's where the first unfollows came from. You're so right, though, just have to keep in mind why I started in the first place: for me.
@Artichoke: Awww your comment made me laugh frown and laugh hysterically at the same time! it's funny because i totally understand where you're coming from but sad because it's disheartening when the you measure the stats and compare. it's like words are too much for people, and the regurgitated visuals are so much easier, like picture books when we were kids! honestly, i blame it on laziness. personally, i love the real life blogs... but maybe thats because i find other peoples lives fascinating. to me, that is where the true inspiration comes from is when i can visually see that individual up close and personal through words. i say throw in a few of the real life posts once in a while... people just need to get to know you a little better :) and p.s. i love long comments!
I've had that happen too, and when I was first blogging I would get bummed out and think that I sucked. I even had some jerk so far as to write the comment "I hate your blog." Whaaa? It was brutal. But now I've just come to realize that if people don't want to read my blog, whatever. It's cool. Nasty comments? They're probably just assholes anyways. I love blogging, and if I don't feel a personal connection to my blog anymore, there's no point. You'll get the trolls on here who leave the copy and pasted messages, and personally I would love nothing more than to block them forever. I actually had this discussion before with another blogger about how annoying those spammy comments are...
ReplyDelete(sorry for my swearing and random thoughts, I'm running on little sleep. PS...I like it around here!)
Giiiirl! I feel you. I had something like this happen to me, except I was featured in her blog then as soon as that was over she unfollowed me! I was so mad...and confused. I will never unfollow you! :) you're faboosh!
ReplyDeleteI know exactly how you feel! It's so messed up in a way. Smh, I don't get it. :/
ReplyDeleteMuch love! x
Well, whatever you said worked bc you have 102 followers now! lol
ReplyDeleteHonestly, I don't expect people to follow me if they're not interested. As I won't follow them if I'm not interested in their blog. No big deal. I just can't stand that whenever I join a linky party, people will come and do a copy-paste comment like "I'm your newest follower! Come and follow me!" I just delete those. They piss me off. If I join a linky party (first of all, I only join certain ones that I really like), I will visit blogs, comment based on their content, and follow if I like it enough.
What I noticed helped me keep followers is replying to each comment I get by e-mail. Chances are people aren't going to go back to the comments section of my posts, so replying via e-mail has been awesome. My friend Amy did a good post on how to set this up: http://bit.ly/gg9aaw
Anyway, sorry to give such a novel of a comment, but I feel the exact same way as you do! Rant on, sistah!
No worries. I'm so glad that you said this. Recently, I've begun to notice other people's comments on other blogs with that direct "follow me" kind of comment. I found it incredibly rude as well. I don't think this is about getting the most followers. I think it's sharing what you love and getting to know other people who share their passions via blog.
ReplyDeleteSincerity is the best. I follow you sincerely and I love reading what you write and viewing your artwork. Of course, i don't comment every time, but I generally see every post.
Thanks for your honesty. I appreciate it.
Well me, i just curse them :P
ReplyDeleteNo literally, i do!
Whenever i loose a follower on twitter... i just curse :P
That's who i am... i love you if you're following me.. and i hate you if you unfollowed me! :)
One girl, unfollowed my blog.. and i actually wrote a post about her.. I guess i hype about followers ALOT. lot alot.
Bitchzilla on The loose.
I don't get this whole "please follow me" culture! I read plenty of blogs that I'm not "following" and there are some that I am "following" that don't interest me all that much any more. Yet we ALL feel so loved when a new follower pops up... weird. I can tell you though, you are one of a very few bloggers who's COMMENTS alwats make me smile, to know that you've REALLY read what I'm blogging about, and you're always so full of encouragement and excitement. I love that! Keep being you, and people won't be able to resist you =) x
ReplyDeletekristen...when you really come down to the nitty-gritty of it all...who cares about the "unfollowers"????? i enjoy your blog and always wait in anticipation of the next...it has allowed me to know another side of you that i never saw before now. you are the most savvy, intellectual, and driven person i have ever been proud to know and can call my neice.
ReplyDeleteyou must always remember what makes us individuals...opinions, beliefs, feelings. there will always be critics...they are there to make us stronger as an individual. don't be sad or upset cuz we need these people in our lives to give us direction. you keep on posting girl...i will always be one of your faithful followers!!!!!
luv you...
aunti jan
Dear Kristen,
ReplyDeleteYou do not need to apologize when you rant and vent on your Blog. It's your Blog and your space.
I just started Blogging end January 2011 this year and I admit there is a lot more to learn in this virtual universe. I have lost followers too. Some people have even said they don't like me or I am unreal.
But at the end of the day, I know who I am, what I love, what I aim for, my dreams, my hopes and even my fears and limitations. If they Unfollow me because I did not follow them back or they don't like me, I guess I just have to respect that. It hurt too, a bit, but I was amazed with myself I completely forgot about it soon. And now I deal with it as part of the rules of engagement in this landscape.
I like your Blog a lot, I also think it is visually appealing and so is your art. That's why I did give you an award I invented for that.
I hope you feel better soon. It's not easy to please all of your audience, so you may as well choose to do what you want to do. But I trust that some of us who are still here, or myself in particular, I like to follow you. Period. Don't be too hard on yourself, You rock!
Cheerio!
As a newbie to the blogging community myself, I was browsing by and this post caught my eye. I have to say, that after reading it, I don't know why people would be unfollowing you, as I am going to follow you, because your advice and info is awesome :D Cheers!
ReplyDeleteThis has happened to me just recently. A "friend" of mine got pissed about one of my post so she not only stopped following me but then told all of our mutual follwers to stop following me as well. Can you say pathetic?!
ReplyDeleteI guess the fact is, they werent really followers or even interested in what you had to say. They were most likely doing it because they wanted to increase their numbers.
There are some blogs I follow that are completely different than mine but I do it because I find a variety of things interesting and I enjoy reading out peoples adventures.
Dont let a few fakies bug you :)
@Erin: UGH! I can't believe people leave that crap. They should be banned from blogging. And I don't mind swearing at all! lol I swear like a sailor. And thanks... I'm glad you like it here :)
ReplyDelete@Elizabeth: OUCH! That would sting even worse... why??? I don't get it!! Faboosh?? heheh love it!
@Emily: I don't either! SMH? I had to look that one up. Shake my head. SMH, I need to get with the times!
@Meg: I love the reply by emails! I think I will start doing that. Thanks :)
@dr3am3r: You're right... sincerity is best! Thanks hun!
@Bitchzilla: lol i love that! i thought about leaving a bitchy comment but thought it would be a little too dramatic. this post was my way over getting over it :)
@Nikki: You are a true sweetheart! Thank you SO much! I'm happy to leave comments- do people not read them and still comment? lol. I do think there is something about the numbers that make us feel legit. I will visit a blog with over 1,000 followers and be like all "Oooh they must be GOOD!" LOL
@Auntie Jan: You are so right... thank you for supporting me and always reminding me of the values I too often forget. I'm proud to be your neice :)
@Psycho: YOU rock! I think this blog world is filled with people with differencing opinions and if they don't agree with a certain view they will unfollow. But I think that's what makes your blog great- it's controversial subject matter that makes people think outside the box. I can totally appreciate those views- keep rockin girlfriend!
@Erika: LOL thanks so much hun! I really wasn't planning on gaining a bunch of followers from this post, I honestly thought it might be offensive and end up with more unfollows. I guess that's what I get for telling it like it is! :D Glad you are here!
wow! this was a great post and I love how sincere all the comments people left are, it just shows the followers you do have are invested in your life and blog and will support you!
ReplyDeleteI just wanted to leave you a quick note to say I LOVE your blog and I think of you as a good bloggy friend :) I always appreciate your comments and love when I see your posts come up on my blog roll.
Keep your chin up girl!
P.s. i see you are at 104 now, way to go!
Kristen, I always enjoy your posts. There's usually something there that'll make me "LOL" (to use computer speak...which I don't use often cause I find it annoying) Anyway, I won't be unfollowing anytime soon. You're a bright spot in everyone's day! Three cheers for you!!.... -D-
ReplyDeletei've just recently noticed this myself! i was reading blogs the other day, and i noticed that there is one particular blogger that i see pop up on EVERYONES page with the SAME EXACT comment...and she ends it with a plea to follow her back. i was curious to see how many blogs she follows, and what do you know, she's blocked the list from public view.
ReplyDeleteit was so funny! this isn't high school. i'm happy for every follower i have/get, but i don't go out actively begging people to follow my blog!
i've just recently started 'following' you (um, that sounds creepy, ha!)and i really enjoy your blog! you have great blog content, and i enjoy reading all of your posts! have a good week, don't let these petty 'unfollowers' get you down! :)
vanessa
Try not to take is personally. I did when I first started blogging and I swear at times I thought I might cry. Silly huh?
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by my design blog today. It looks like you don't need my help at all. I love your blog! I hope to take some classes soon. I've dabbled, but now that I'm finishing up my bachelors I'd love to take some classes just for fun.
Darling you need to toughen up *hugs*. But I understand how it feels because I felt it or should I say I'm in the process of learning not to give a damn. I'm learning every day and I don't hide that fact. But I decided one thing from the start, I will not take shit from anyone and I will not succumb to pressure to post "popular" things because that will gain me more followers. Then the whole purpose of having a blog would be lost. At least for me. My blog is a reflection of me, and if you like it --> great ( maybe we're on the same wave length ) if not, then ignore me. If I think I got a copy/paste comment I won't even bother to check who that person is, because already I don't have a high opinion of her. Blogging is great, and fulfilling and you can meet awesome people. I'm sure you've already met a few. So don't get discouraged by a some random (rude) stranger. You have real followers who are interested in what you think and what you write. ♥
ReplyDeletei was just unfollowed by 2 people and it was just annoying. it was people who told me to follow them as well and i didn't because i found their blogs just boring. thank you for posting this because it was just what i wanted to write, but you beat me to it. i NEEDED this today, girl. thank you. sincerely.
ReplyDelete"I honestly thought it might be offensive and end up with more unfollows"
ReplyDeleteI actually find it quite the opposite of offensive. You notice and take the time to address what might motivate your readers to no longer read your stuff and you go about it in an honest way. Makes for interesting reading :3
Ack. Okay I might be one of the people who unfollowed you, but so not on purpose! I've been having a LOT of trouble with the blogs I'm following showing up in my reader & the people at Google (that sounds mysterious, ha) told me to delete them and add them back. Which took days. I had to print my list OUT. Like what? This is serious business, blog reading.
ReplyDeleteSo yeah there's that.
But also -- you're right. I hate those effing comments where it's like "Oh my gosh. Cool. I'm visiting from XYZ. Follow me back." Really? I can't be bothered to comment on blog entries I'm not interested in just to gain followers... but I'd love more followers. It's something that messes with your head sometimes, because you begin to wonder -- are we all just looking for this ILLUSION of friendship and community online?
When I first started blogging, I went through the mistake of following EVERYONE. And my reader became so clutter with garbage (because, let's be real, a lot of bloggers post crap a lot of the time) that I missed the good stuff. I just came to the realization a few days ago that some blogs are just not meant for me. I just don't want to read them. Like your blog where all you do is post pictures of your kid? Constantly? Yeah, I might be a horrible person for this, but I don't want to see your kid everyday. I don't have kids, and at this point in my life I don't care about them. Why would I want to look at them? Or even when I do kids? WHY? Blogs have target audiences just like everything else, and we don't always realize that our blog isn't meant for everyone. It's like dating -- just because you don't hit it off with someone doesn't mean there's something wrong with them. You just don't have chemistry.
/rant. :)
i happily follow, no strings attached ;)
ReplyDeletei know what you mean, i've often thought that there should be just one button to push where you instantly follow every single person on blogger and they instantly follow you, so you're left with a million followers and it's against the law to unfollow. that would clear up all the mess and uneasiness, and you can finally just concentrate on blogging your thoughts!
yup i just notice that happening when i hit #100 as well! you get so excited for 100 and then BAM 99. It is a little upsetting.. like being rejected. It also made me a LOT more careful about who i decide to follow. i just erased a comment from my blog this morning.. someone had said somehting like "oh my gosh i'm your newest follower!!!!" after leaving the same EXACT comment the day before!! geez, at least be careful about being crazy! haha. you're not alone, no worries!
ReplyDeletePeople copy and paste comments?...ok, I've never done that! I swear!
ReplyDeleteI agree, I hate those people that come to my blog and don't even say 'hi', they're all like, "I'm your newest follower, follow back please." Follow back please? That's not even asking. That's telling. Anyway, your blogging voice is authentic, honest, and your writing is appealing. I don't care if you follow or not. I just wanted you to know that you spoke and you were heard. PS: Just so you know, the "follow" numbers will jump around. I think that has more to do with Blogger being an asshole that people "unfollowing" you.
i love this post and i agree 100%. people shouldnt follow other peoples blog just in hopes that they will gain followers. you have to genuinely care about their blog and their blog content! i can already tell i like yours :)
ReplyDeleteSo true. I personally tend to follow blogs in waves and then will sometimes "unfollow" them later when I'm actually sitting down and reading. It's like, "What was I thinking? This blog is boring!" Lol. I figure it it holds my attention and makes me comment, it's a good blog and I'll keep following. If I start to fall asleep... moving on...
ReplyDeleteI think you've got the right attitude though. I know it hurts to lose followers, but those people probably weren't very active followers in the first place. And you're right, it should be more about relationship, not just following to get a follow-back. That's totally lame.
IM SOOO LATE TO THIS POST! haha sorry lady. BUT! you're so on it! True true true. Worst comments ever are those that go like this" hey, cute blog. follow me *link*" AGH! haha they aggravate me so much! lol so you have a great point here.
ReplyDeleteas far as twitter goes, it's crazy. At first I used to worry about my followers and I remember when I first reached 100, and then in like a day I was back to 89... most are spam. So don't worry. When twitter noticed they are spam, they are deleted automatically. Personally, I only follow people that I talk/reply to. I had to turn on notifications on my email because the spam was getting overwhelming, but if someone @'s me, I instantly browse their info, reply back and add em. That definitely helps. Just like in blogs, where you comment and are genuinely nice, it helps on twitter.
:)
xo
Btw, saw your notice? The shirt was shipped! may take additional days thanks to this sucky island I live in lol But it's on it way :)
This is heartfelt and honest. I really like what you have to say. I've done the whole experimenting thing myself, mainly to study social media and blogging for information studies. But when it comes down to it, I agree with you 100%, I'm really just interested in reading things that make a connection for me.
ReplyDeleteBTW I LOVE your blog. Don't be hurt by unfollowers, perhaps they are being honest too and don't think you have anything in common with them.
BTW I LOVE your blog. I'm going to make an effort to write to those blogs I enjoy, so they know I like them.