But in the last two weeks I've been assigned a lot... a lot, a lot.
I've had to come up with my own freelance design business name, the logo, the business card, letterhead, envelope, promotional post card, and memorabilia piece to leave behind at client meetings. I also have to bid my first job complete with an estimate worksheet and cover letter. That's on top of my web design project creating a fully functioning Lord of the Rings website by Monday. Oh, and the day job, plus blogging, while having the flu.
We are about to meet very soon.
Your Nervous Breakdown
My school is a little different than most colleges since it's career training; it's very fast paced and requires your full attention. Sometimes it's a lot like drinking from a fire hose... too much too fast and I barely have time to gasp for air.
I'm having one of those moments... especially because this flu has set me so far behind on what I needed to accomplish over the weekend. It feels like everything is building up this intense pressure inside of me demanding me to produce something amazing right away.
Sometimes when I design I'm too much in my head. The deadlines are chanting at me telling me I can't do it and the worry of critique and judgement float around laughing at me.
This is when I begin to doubt myself...
doubt that I'm good enough,
that I'm not right for this industry,
that I'm completely in over my head.
I shut down.
I can't even look at a computer screen.
I hit a wall and have to figure out a way around it.
I take a break and breathe deep, allowing my intuition take the wheel. Sometimes the hard part is trusting that it knows how to drive, but when I do, that is when I'm finally able to let go. And when something beautiful emerges out of this crazy process... that's when I know it was worth it.
I hope I'm not the only one with self doubt... how do you push through it?